Full-time working dad

.Dear Husband, Thank you.

The last post I penned in this space of mine was probably a few years ago when Leisabelle was still in my belly. I finally reopened this space of mine and I would like to pen this post after a very long time for the one who made my life a fulfilling and purposeful one. 

Many people talked about how challenging it is being a full time stay at home mom (SAHM).  I totally agree that IT IS challenging, but at the same time IT IS fulfilling.

 I would like to extend my appreciation and delicate this post to my husband. 

A Full-time working dad.

. . . . . . . .

Dear Husband,

Thank you for making me a SAHM to be absolutely involved in growing stages of our beloved child. I want to let you know that I understand. I understand every morning when you head to work you miss us. The feeling of missing what we will be doing today because you need to be at work to support our family. I know that you love us so deeply and would really want to spend time with us whenever you can even when you know you needed a rest.

I want you to know that I love you and everyday, I thank you for shouldering the burden of our entire household may it be financially, physically and emotionally. I truly appreciate everything you have done for us.

Each time when we (Leisabelle and I) were out having learning activities, you are always in our mind. We talked about you, we made crafts for you, we miss you and you are always the topic we talked about. You may not be physically there with us, somehow you are "there" with us all the time. We explore places and Leisabelle always remember you and tell me, next time we come with daddy. You are an amazing role right there deep down in her heart. 

Because of the choice that you made allowing me to be a SAHM and taking up the sole responsibility of providing for the family, it was made possible for me to engage our daughter with beautiful memories of being there for her and with her growing up. To be there to nurture her and build up a strong, resilient yet kind and compassionate character in her. Thank you for making this happen in us. Without your support and understanding, this can never be made possible!

Leisabelle talks about you, and she is proud of you, proud of having a dad who works to help others. She would always say to me : Daddy needs to go and help others. He is good daddy, he helps others to feel better. Daddy is very very good. I want to go to Orchard to help daddy in the clinic too.

Other than being what you are good at in work, you led an absolute amazing fatherly character in the life of our girl. A father who is kind and compassion, a father who helps others in need. She looks up to you in every single way. Thank you for being that role model in her life and also the leader in our household. 

Not only you provide for us, you lead us to the life you want us to have. I know you have been working very hard for that. To one day be able to take our family off for a long adventure, to live in forest, to be with nature, to swim with fishes, to dive into waterfalls and to breathe, sleep and learn from the mother nature. Thank you for working so hard for our family, for me, for our daughter to provide the quality of life in Singapore. We truly appreciate all you have done for us. Thank you and thank you. 

We love you always,

Seven and Leisabelle  

Why can't I change?

How many times we wanted a change in our lives but we won't want to do it?

We expect and hope that someday, somehow, somewhere over the rainbow, something supernatural happen and things will be never the same again?

I came across people who are complaining about their lives and yet doing nothing about it. 

I can totally understand that in certain situations/ circumstances, its hard to leave that issue that we are complaining about. 

We probably do not have a choice in some situations. 

As such:

A friend who's taking care of his mum who was suffering from stroke. It is not a desirable situation to be in for sure. But It is our duty to take care of our own parents, needless to say when they are sick. He didn't want to put his mom in a home. So he overloaded himself for years, managing between work, finances and family. He  made a choice out of inconvenience, out of love, out of his commitment to his mom. It is ok to grumble and complain at times, it is tough, we are human. Few years passed and his mom passed on. He did what he can as a son. He misses his mom, but he live no regrets.   

YET . . . .

There are situations WE CAN CHANGE, YET We give ourselves excuses to NOT CHANGE, because it is hard and INCONVENIENT, our mind wants to, but our flesh is so unwilling. 

So we just want to get by and continue to complain about it.

How about this?

Eating Junks everyday and complaining that you are fat?

RULE #1: What ever you decide to do, do it happily !

If you love fast-food, don't care about being fat. 

What is wrong of being a happy fat person ?

So when you decided to eat it, eat it happily !

But if you cannot be a happy fat person, then stop eating junk.

.Its Common Sense.

Rule #2:  No lasting-change will come out of inconsistency 

The world is providing everything that demands speed. 

To lose weight, pop some slimming pills.

It seems like anything which is the easy way out sell itself.

Look at the wide variety of slimming pills, and programs available in the market. 

lose 10KGs in 90 days.

IT WORKS !!

With Disclaimer: STOP the slimming pills after 90 days, GAIN 15KGs.

Conclusion: Even the easy and most convenient way out demands consistency. 

What more about the inconvenient persistency towards change?

Rule #3: For we cannot feed ourselves junk everyday and expect us to be healthy and slim; We CANNOT think junk thoughts everyday and expect our mind to stay happy and positive

The day I decided to be a happy person and I wanted myself to truly be one;

Inside out; filled with joy and love,

I Made a hell lot of EffortS out of inconveniences.

It is not possible to make a change in our lives if we are reluctant to put consistent effort into it. 

Because good change is never convenient !

We need to pursue it.

Pursue : to strive to gain; seek to attain or accomplish (an end, object,purpose, etc.).

We need to chase and seek, attain it. 

It will never come-by due to convenience or by feeling.

Rule #4: We can never attain a good change through feelings 

Feelings are the most unreliable thing ever, for they come and go without warning;

they can be happy now and be sad the next, 

we can wake up in the morning with no apparent reason feeling depress when everything is doing good

When we are well and healthy we feel happy,

sometimes when we are well and healthy we still do not feel happy.

We can get excited very easily and get mad over some stupid things so quickly,

feeling come and go,

they are good they are bad,

Take control over them, 

We have dominion over them not the other way round.

The MAIN reason why we CANNOT attain a good change based on feelings because they are inconsistent.

Anything that is consistent in your life will create a change in you, for feelings are flicker, it is not possible to habit a good change using feeling.

Rule #5: You need to desire it enough to make inconvenient efforts

I was looking for my pair of Gucci Ballerina Flats, 

I went to the boutique in Marina Bay Sand, they didn't have my size. 

I guess I desire it enough to make my way to Paragon to pick up my right size and carry them home with me.

I wanted them pretty much at that point of time ( I think so ) I don't really need them, yet I am willing to make that inconvenient effort.

My mind starts to wonder very much, 

We can make inconvenient efforts for wants that are not important, 

Today, why don't we make that inconvenient effort to needs that need to be alter.

Let us be overcomers, encouraging one another to continually be better and happier!

Galatian 6:9

So let's not get tired of doing what is good. At just the right time we will reap a harvest of blessing if we don't give up.

Love. 7kai. 

Thank you and Happy Birthday

Thank you

 My friend, my beloved, my partner, my husband.

Thank you for making me a wonder woman.

Thank you for giving me a wonderful family,

Thank you for giving me Leisabelle

and 

to be a part of your everyday life,

 loving me,

 understanding me,

and accepting me for who I am.

I do not know how we fell in love,

but I know I am willing to love you through this lifetime of mine.

Happy Birthday

Thou we are miles and miles apart,

but I know we are so closely connected.

I love you and I miss you dearly

p.s : Thank you for telling me everyday that the greatest thing that you look forward to every morning is me cuddling next to you.

Finding out Symptom and its Causes

I love this quote written by my hubby this morning

We often preoccupy ourselves with Symptoms,

We kind of live in denial of the root cause, because we find them too difficult to overcome

If we went to the root cause of the problems, 

We would be able to overcome the problems.

Most of the root cause come from our daily habits, and we don't want to change Because it is HARD-WORK ! For we do not like to do what is different from what we used to do.

Humans are Lazy by nature and we often want to look for the easiest way out

Habits can be derived into 2 categories 

It can be  Physical

 and

It can be Emotional 

 We get too overwhelmed by our secondary symptoms and we often overlooked the root cause of it

Secondary emotions can be : anger, frustrations, always complaining, being mean to others, rudeness, being sarcastic, always thinking the worst of others, and many more

Root caused emotions can be : insecurity, bitterness, resentment, brokeness, bad memories, a lost, and many more 
    

 Talking about our Problems is our Greatest Addiction. Break that Habit. Talk about Your Joys

Quote taken from the teenagerquotes.tumblr.com

One of our worst emotional habit is  Complaining, and ranting where people seem to love it, yet complain about that.

" This thing is so sucky, fml !  That is so wrong, why is this so . . .  and why is that so . . . Why are they doing this, why are they doing that . . . " Sounds familiar to you?

Just in my own opinion: I always feel, if it is so bad, why do you want to keep talking about it? Let me take a piece of shit for an example; if it smells terrible why do you want to keep smelling it, keep it by your side and sometimes reminiscing some more which sounds more wrong isn't it? 

 

You may ask me, what is wrong in expressing my unhappiness about certain matter?

My answer is: There is nothing wrong about that, and we ought to express our emotions

Don't misread me, there is no right or wrong in complaining.  

 What I am trying to take into context is the consequences After using this mode of expression ( In this instant, I am using complaining as an example, for some people, it may not be complaining, it can be something else like cursing, swearing and crap up your entire day )

Side note: We truly deserve to be happy and be in joy because happiness is what we are made of.

Do you get bored over yourself who is constantly in some kind of crisis which seem to be never ending?

Again, you might be asking me, " Do you think I want this crisis to happen? " 

Why is such incident recurring again? 

and again? and again? . . . .

Take a moment, run this through your mind, have some imagination

Answer to my what if 

.

 .

 .

 .

 What if You don't need to react negatively, angry, frustrated, blaming, wronged as if your whole world is crashing down again when such crisis arise?

Do you know such reactions are cultivated and they DEFINITELY can be changed! 

 .

 . 

.

.

But

" I can't help it !! " 

This may be the scream running through your mind right now.

I want to change but I simply can't help it !

How to be happy when I feel like being in the worst shit hole I've ever been in?

This colleague is like that, I am like that . . . Why . . . . 

This classmate is like . . . . I feel so hurt . . . why . . . . 

It is hard-work,  But I can promise you, it can be done.

The question is; How Desperate do you want that change?

Again, how Desperate are you willing to stay committed till you see that change?

And Again,

Lastly, how  Desperate do you want to get off that root problem?

Than talking over the Symptoms over and over again and again?

You will only change the day you've decided that you  

REALLY HAD ENOUGH OF IT !

 Everyday is a new opportunity of decision of how we want ourselves to be

.  Love . 7Kai  .