Understand

Understand

Do you have the feeling that no one understands you?

And people falling shortfall of your standards? 

Or people who didn't measure up to what you expect?

Situations that fail you?

One who disappoints you?

This happens very much to almost everybody. Its a world we live in, balancing within ideal and reality; expectations and disappointments.I am reading my daily reading list, i start to ask myself why is the bible not just a set of rules and principles? But instead a book full or grace and mercy. Forgiveness and faith. Compassion and kindness. Truth and light. It says that the meek shall inherit the land. What is the land its talking about? I went through my study  guide and realized that it is the promises of our destiny. A destiny that leads to who God wants us to be. 

I've listening to a sermon on shame and guilt, disappointment and resentment. I relate it to the recent incident that had happened to me. Just on Christmas eve. It's completely out of my expectation and i ruin the dinner completely. Being hound by guilt and shame I didn't know how to face myself. I was extremely angry with myself and couldn't face the consequences I've resulted. I felt myself failing God and failing myself. I started my pity party on Christmas day. What a "pleasant" way to start Christmas. What a pity party to attend with just myself and me, a group of bitterness, resentment, self condemnation, guilt and unworthiness. It seems like they have gathered together like a legion. 

I shake that off me on boxing day. I made a grave mistake, and I have to face up to the consequences of that mistake causing shame to someone else. That evening on boxing day I hid into my secret closet and commune with Daddy God. I cried out to Him and pleaded Him to take away that sinful desire of mine. Alcoholism.

He showed me to proverbs 31 seriously and frankly I have to admit I didn't even know proverbs 31 ever existed.

31:4 Drunkenness might be understandable among unbelievers who are on the brink of death, but it is inexcusable for national leaders. Alcohol clouds the mind and can lead to injustice and poor decisions. Leaders have better things to do than that. (Life Application bible)

The words really slapped me hard this time round. God is totally aware of whats happening and totally. I read the words carefully over again and again. Word by word. People who are at the brink of death. Alcoholism.  But it is inexcusable for national leaders, leaders have better things to do than that. In that verse, 2 options hit me hard. One who is near death or a Leader? Its a choice. I am so upset over it and was sitting by myself looking 13th levels below me until a bangala worker appear out of nowhere from the rooftop taking photos. I looked at him and he looked at me. 

So when I saw this verse 2 hours after I came down. Proverbs 31 describes me and God gave me a choice who I want to be. Somehow I think that bangala maybe God's angel. And  God knows exactly whats going though my mind even when I shut off my thought totally from Him. Too much of guilt and condemnation, I can't feel think or have anything to do with God. I was overwhelmed. 

Coupled with the situation that I was going through and I seriously repented over it. If this hasn't happen, how would I ever know that I am not totally done with Alcoholism. Though a situation, definitely not a pleasant one, I paid a price for my action to reveal this part of me God wants to deal with, and entirely this time round. I found out in that incident that I do not understand myself that much after all but God allows this to happen to let me see myself clearly. To root this problem off once and for all. The consequences of this spiral me down into a deep deep slumber and a close to 20 hours of sleep. As usual woke up feeling as bad as it can ever be. Thankfully I didn't woke up and realizes it is 2013 like I last did in 2009. Woke up one day and realized oh, its 2010. 

Not just in handling disappointments and mistakes in our lives, we need a certain kind of mercy and grace for ourselves. This doesn't mean that we can willfully continue that mistake or allow it to happen but understand that perfection is impossible in human. We strive for perfection but in the midway when we stumble and fall in our character flaws, we need to have mercy and grace for ourselves.

In things that always seem wrong in our lives, may it be a way of living or a set of thoughts that has been teaching us to live our lives in our own ways; we learn to manage our set of in-justifications.

When a mistake is made, but seriously who will want to make a mistake on purpose so that he or she can be penalized? What's important is the valuable lessons learn in correction. If one has to make 100 mistakes to learn its correction, then hope he/she can stand the 100 consequences of the mistake made. As fast as we can move on rectify and understand which part of ourselves went wrong, we can correct it. 

Because we don't even understand ourselves, we find ourselves too complex to find the correct area to rectify the issue. 

Showing grace to ourselves during the trial and error is essential, for most part of the rectification is through the learning process of situations which are out of expectancy. Just like love is build over time, grace and mercy is build overtime as well. As much as situation come knocking on, there is a chance to exercise on the emotional muscles of the above. 

We are not god and can't play god in life too. If life is about playing the identity of god, what is there to look forward to? What is there to learn? What is the purpose of living?Why not all parent kill their babies when they are born? There must be a purpose in life. Like a friend of mine always say, its a blessing to be alive, because we still have the ability to change to make our life better.

What if everything we do were to go along with our plans and with no disappointment, setbacks, resentment, problem free at all. It that even call life? 

The main human sin character; even when things are absolutely perfect in our life, we will still be there creating problems for ourselves. Imagine a life with no setbacks, or disappointment? How do we even differentiate contentment and appreciation. 

Just like God wouldn't do our part in life, we can't play his role in life too. What we have to do is to manage ourselves and constantly adjusting to be align with what will be the best out of us. 

In this life everyone is in search of happiness and happiness can only be attain when one make peace with themselves.

I am learning too. In a process learning to show grace, kindness and mercy despite of situations. The maturity on being kind even when others are unkind with words towards me. Showing grace even when I am being treated unfairly. Sometimes a mistake made has the power to wipe away ample goodness you've done. But I told myself, don't be discourage, I am not doing it to redeem for my wrong but to do what the truth told me to be. 

Love

Peace

Gentleness

Faithfulness

Goodness

Patience

Kindness

Self control

Determination

Never say never

See I never thought that I could walk through fire.
I never thought that I could take the burn.
I never had the strength to take it higher,
Until I reached the point of no return.

And there's just no turning back,
When your hearts under attack,
Gonna give everything I have,
It's my destiny.

I will never say never! (I will fight)
I will fight till forever! (make it right)
Whenever you knock me down,
I will not stay on the ground.
Pick it up,
Pick it up,
Pick it up,
Pick it up up up,
And never say never.

I never thought I could feel this power.
I never thought that I could feel this free.
I'm strong enough to climb the highest tower.
And I'm fast enough to run across the sea.

And there's just no turning back,
When your hearts under attack,
Gonna give everything I have,
Because this is my destiny.

Here we go!
Guess who?
JSmith and JB!
I gotcha lil bro.
I can handle him.
Hold up, I
I can handle him.

Now he's bigger than me,
Taller than me.
And he's older than me,
And stronger than me.
And his arms a little bit longer than me.
But he ain't on a JB song with me!

I be trying a chill
They be trying to side with the thrill.
No pun intended, was raised by the power of Will.

Like Luke with the force, when push comes to shove.
Like Cobe with the 4th, ice water with blood.

I gotta be the best, and yes
We're the flyest.
Like David and Goliath,
I conquered the giant.
So now I got the world in my hand,
I was born from two stars
So the moon's where I land.

I will never say never! (I will fight)
(never say it never never say it)
I will fight till forever! (make it right)
Whenever you knock me down,
I will not stay on the ground.
Pick it up,
Pick it up,
Pick it up,
Pick it up, up, up,
And never say never.

Confront your doubts

I remember an evening when I was feeling strongly dissatisfied and discontented. I went back to my book where I wrote all the sermons and promises. A little book I scribbles on filled with encounters and verses that recall God's promises whenever there is a need. Well I felt I needed something, but I don't know what it was. I know I'm feeling something, but I don't know how and why those uneasy and doubtful feelings come from. Its just a sudden feeling of emotions.

I had no peace, no joy and I just felt completely miserable. And I read something I wrote many many months ago about how I God helped me through that night where there's only tears and sorrows.

It says, I'm with you, and you are safe in my arms, rest my child. 

In fact the problem is simple, I was doubting instead of believing. I doubt His ability over a situation. I doubt that He actually has put me into this situation to prosper me and to grow me. I doubt in His faithfulness and His love for me. I doubt that God is incapable of doing. 

When I realized the problem, I got back my faith and stepped out of doubts.

It was funny

Somehow I was reflected to the day I first spoke to Jesus. Thou methodist church school where I used to come from, yes I sing children church songs. But in me Jesus is still an unknown figure.

in my quiet time when I was reminded what happened. I was crying and throwing my tantrum probably 3 years ago when a voice was speaking. I'm a person with so much of anger and resentment back then, I shouted back at it. The voice sounded so meek and gentle. Can't even understand why is that voice in English, while I'm more of a Chinese speaking person. I asked, who are you, just shut up and get lost. He replied, I'm Jesus. My first instance, go away, I don't know you, ask Buddha to come can? I know Buddha I don't know you, what Jesus. I dont like you, you speak English ~_~ for some reasons I just want to find fault with everything. Lol.

The voice kept very quiet for a couple of minutes.

And somehow flashback across my mind in incidents which I don't even remember. During my secondary school days, one day after school I went to the hill behind my house and was surrounded a whole bunch of angry monkeys. And I don't know what to do. The whole monkey families are mobilized. They blocked my front pathway and my hind ways. I was stucked, can't go anywhere and the sky was turning dark. 

I was from the girls brigade, somehow that time I started praying to Jesus. I asked Jesus how? I'm freaking stucked by monkeys. I didn't know what happened somehow or somewhat I felt led I just hold on to a pair of secured hands closed my eyes and walked thru the bunch of angry monkeys. By the time I peek and took a turn behind my back, I've walked out the path surrounded by monkeys. I was only 13 years old back then.

After the flashback, Jesus speaks again. Back then, it was me, who held your hands. Instantly hot tears rolled down my cheeks. That was my very first encounter I had. To think back. It's hilarious isn't it. 

Feelings

All of us once had this feeling of " I don't feel like doing anything, or I don't feel like hanging on anymore" 

In the past all my relationships were based on just the feel good factor. All along I thought when that someday comes when feelings got stale and stagnant, one should just move on and say good bye to a certain relationship.

Even since I turned a believer I have realized tht the most unreliable 'friend we have been trusting it for so long 'feelings' they are not reliable at all!

I am so thankful tht my dad is not just there for the family because of feelings. There must be many times he don't feel like doing it anymore. When I disappoint him, when my sister let him down, or my mom is not understanding towards him. Dad stayed committed to the family despite of disappointment and unpleasant moments that happened in the past. Dad loves us and he is committed to us no matter how he feels. 

I have come to learn about this. To live a victorious life we have to build our lives based on the truth. The truth of being kind, being gracious, loving, having a good attitude in life in all situations. In times when we don't want to be kind to the person who hurt or abuse us, we don't feel like apologizing when we are not even the one in wrong. But based on kindness and the truth of attitude we decide to choose His way.

I have learned to be thankful in all things in life. For the good or bad, they happened for a reason; the exist for a purpose for us to learn from and to mature from it. 

The bible says, all things works for good for those who loves him and is called according to his purpose. This take into account even for the people who had wronged us. Eventually it will all happen for good. 

Love your enemies; this is true enough, for many times if it's not for some hateful people in our lives, we might not even realize that we can for the fact get tht far. 

Be thankful in all things


Seven

be still and know he is God

When you have eternal in your heart,
you know and you know,
how joyful is that when you will to meet your ultimate love of your life.
Someone who watches over you 24/7
love you
encourage you
be there for you
talks to you
I have never seen him my entire life
but one day I will
I will walk my life gloriously and victoriously till the day I see you face to face
I am willing to carry that cross you've entrusted me
the cross of kindness is right here everyday,
right in my heart.
It is love.

Hope

Be still and know who He is

You with those tears in your eyes,

that heaviness in your heart,

that bad day hanging on your shoulders

Will you let the arms of heaven hold you close,

so He can whisper these words into your ear?

" Yes, I know about loss, I know it is hard to live in this world, I understand "

I count your tears,

I numbered your troubles,

I'm here with you and for you,

surrounding you,

with comfort and peace

until you step into eternity

where I promise to wipe every tear from your eyes

and place a forever smile on your face.

Be still keep up your faith

I love you.

Love Jesus Christ

Compare

Compare

In the world which is constantly telling us who is better and who is not, shaping who we are into the voices of others. As a teacher, a mentor to the children in which I am really honored to be, in the eyes of parents and students; 

I often tell the parents to not compare their children with others, in between siblings and even identical twin. Every single individual is special and unique. 

I am teaching today and was sadden of how my 5 year old is has to keep in a constant challenge to his identical twins who somehow happens to be more musically incline.

As a 5 year old boy, he bug me what and how is his brother doing during lesson. What songs did he play? and so on, and on. This kept me thinking. Lesson for him today is simple. No music concepts, I just taught him to be himself, doesn't matter what little brother is playing today, he is himself and he ought to be given full attention to be who he is. 

I explained to the parents of what I will be teaching him and lesser of the music exam syllabus to build up a healthy self image for their child. Most parents will accept my suggestions even when theres nothing to do with music. I guess they can feel the love I have for the child. Music is to train determination, well being, and a healthy growth in child's development. In all general in some course to shape a good character out of the child.

Kids are confined to praises and encouragements. To gain the recognition of their parents and other adults, they often get into an attention seeking realm to gain their self images through praises. 

Sometimes, they share things not because they really want to, but often to seek a good boy self image instead.

Personally I do not find this healthy. If a child is being brought up to gain their self image according to human praises, its gotta be a tough time before they realizes the world is full of critics. If your self image is based on human praises and well sayings, it means it will be based on critics and skeptics. If praise and applause can gain your confident, it means critics will have the equal power to pull your self image downwards.

Ponder about it.

Seven

Born in me

Everything inside me cries for order

Everything inside me wants to hide

Is this shadow an angel or a warrior

If God is pleased with me, why am I so terrified

Someone tell me I am only dreaming

Somehow help me see with heaven's eye

Before my head agrees, my heart is on it knees

Holy is He

Blessed am I

Be born in me

Trembling heart, somehow I believe

That You chose me

I'll hold You in the beginning

You will hold me in the end

Every moment in the middle, make my heart Your Bethlehem

All this time we've waited for the promise

All the time You've waited for my arms

So we might know that Love would go that far?

I am not brave

I'll never be

The only thing my heart can offer is a vacancy

I'm just a girl 

Nothing more

But I'm willing, I am Yours.

God is Love

John 1:12


No one has ever seen God; If we love one another, God abides in us and His love is perfected in us.


John 1:16

So we have come to and to to believe the love that God has for us. God is love and whoever abides in love abides in God.


John 1:18


There is no fear in love but perfect love casts out fear.

Understood

Understood and misunderstood

We all knows what is the meaning of being misunderstood.

When we tell a friend that we like their hair short, and when they hear, " I don't like your long hair "

We shake our heads and wonder how an innocent comment can erupt into a disagreement so quickly.

Sometimes we head to the self help section to learn how to fix the problem. 

Books tell us that if we can just learn to understand ourselves,

everyone else will follow suit.

But the closer we look inside, the more we discover we're a mystery as well.

Its like when we want to lose weight but we eat too much suppers.

We long to be kind to people we love, yet we raise our voices at them.

We desire to follow God faithfully but we find ourselves wandering off the path.

We don't seem to understand ourselves very well either.

This kind of situation is nothing new.

The prophet Jeremiah wondered long time ago,

" The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it ? "

Fortunately, Someone stepped in and answered the question by saying

" The Lord search the heart and examine the mind. "

There is this Someone who understands us completely.

All my motives, mysteries and misunderstandings are clear to Him.

He knows what you do and why you do it.

The best psychologist in the world can't hold a candle to the light God can shed on our heart and soul.

God is not in the business of keeping secret.

He is not sitting on His heavenly throne with His arms folded saying.

" You people go and setter out for your own ah! "

God is always speaking through our heart and through His words in the book of knowledge and wisdom,

through prayers, through other believers and even through our situations.

We grow up learning to pray,

" God, help me understand what to do. "

It seems more complex to pray,

" God, help me understand who I am. "

So we listen to other voices.

Where every book cover at the checkout stand seems to say,

" We understand you, and we've got the 10 steps to happiness you need. "

Yet the answers prove to be hollow, and we long again for someone to truly deeply understand and know every part of us.

When we were young, we play the passing of message game.

If we want to know the origin of the message, we have to go back to the source.

The same is true when it comes to being understood.

When we draw near to the One who knows us totally, we can ask,

" What is the truth about who I am "

What do You need to show me about my heart?

Whatever the answer may be, I can be sure God's love and grace will come through loud and clear.

I am totally understood.

For I am loved by Someone who understands me more than I understand myself.

Thank you Father for understanding me totally and wholesomely. You know who I am and what I am. You know why I do things and what makes me do it. 

I give my heart to You Lord,

You truly knows what I've tried and hard work done to love.

Father You alone knows how and what I have been through.

I am grateful to You for making me who I am now.

Always leading from glory to glory.

Thank you for loving me so much and so much!

I am so contented with life filled with Your wholesome grace and mercy.

Love

Love always exist

One day, you meet true love yourself,

encounter true love,

Love will win

Jesus is love,

Jesus will win

Marina Barrage

One fine beautiful Sunday afternoon,

with a group of friends started our activities outing at Marina Barrage

And the turtle swimming across the skies

Not forgetting,

Yes the bubbles!

Its getting kind of too warm therefore we decided to take a dip into the play pool

Just like the kids

The kids are seriously happy w the bubbles!

As the sun begins to set

Lets have another round of bubbles for ourselves

Who But You?

Too little, too late

His time has come and gone

Is that what they say when I walk by?

I've got a little more grey?

My steps are slow and long

And the promises You've made fades in the moonlight

But I know

when I see a star

You see the milky way

I see one man counting sand

But You see generations

Who But You?

Who but You would ever choose

to dream Your dream in me?

Tell me who, but You, would dare me to?

Believe what I cant see 

You'd think by now

It wouldn't bother me

The hush from the crowd when I walk by

and you think somehow I'd let my heart believe

Its time to let go of lullabies

I see a star

You see a galaxy

There's just one hope

Just one way

These arms will not stay empty

Call me crazy 

Call me a fool

You alone can do the things You promised to

You are Yaweh

I am just a man

I am counting the tiny grains of sand

Placing every promise in Your hand

Great and mighty Yaweh,

My God

My Father

I believe

I believe in You.

The keeper of the universe I trust.

Let your love show

Let Your Love Show

Posted by Victoria Osteen on 6/19/2012

I personally love this message posted by Victoria, enjoy the message of love.

Taken from www.joelosteen.com

I heard about a woman who said to her husband one day, "Honey, do you really love me?"

He looked at her strangely and said, "Why would you ask me that? I told you that I loved you the day I married you thirty-five years ago. If it ever changes, I'll let you know."

We've probably all encountered people like that, but the truth is that the phrase "I love you" can never be heard enough in our homes. We can't take for granted that the people we love automatically know it. Maybe you weren't raised in an expressive environment, but why don't you be the one to start a new tradition? You can affect your family line for generations to come by speaking words of love. What better legacy to leave than a legacy of love, kindness and encouragement.

I was discussing the power of encouragement with one of my friends one afternoon, and she said something I thought was right on. She said, "When I brag on my husband, I can see a change in him. He rises to the occasion and strives to go to new levels. But when I nag at him or say nothing at all, he's more complacent and doesn't have the passion and enthusiasm to accomplish what is in his heart."

That's true for all of us. Nagging only makes things worse, but encouraging words will put people on their feet and bring out the best in them. We should always look for opportunities to speak words of blessing over the people around us. When your spouse gets a promotion at work, take time to say, "I knew you could do it! You're amazing!" When your child comes home with good grades, even if they are less than you had hoped, don't be too busy to celebrate. Stop and say, "I am so proud of you. Way to go!" When your mother fixes Sunday dinner for the whole family, tell her, "Mom, I know that's a lot of work, but your hospitality means so much." When your coworker loses fifteen pounds, don't be jealous; congratulate her with a compliment. Let words of life flow freely from your lips. As you sow seeds of love and blessing, always remember that you are displaying the glory of God. He is love, and when we show love, we are showing Him. Let your words and actions say "I love you" because that's how we show the world that we are followers of His.

"By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another" (John 13:35, NIV).

The help advertisement

Photo By LiminaMike

In parts of our lives, we do put out help wanted ads looking for assistance with the dirty work that comes from our messy hearts.

The advert from our heart may sounds like this

Wanted

Someone to bring hope,

encouragement, and love to a fallen human being.

Hours varies,

with no guarantee of compensation

The content differ from each of us.

Some may need help with depression, while some might need assistance recovering from a broken relationship.

Perhaps someone else needs the support in getting freedom through an addiction.

Whatever it may be, we all long for someone to answer to the "help calls" written by our hearts.

Sometimes someone seems to apply.

A romantic partner comes into our lives, and we believe all of our troubles will go away.

Or

a new job promises a new beginning to our hope for future.

Another glass of whiskey that chases away the sorrows for a while.

But in the end, we realized that whatever we thought would give us help has actually contributed to the hurt.

Fortunately, there is someone who does promise to answer the help wanted adverts we post from our heart. 

One, who sees our need and responds.

When I was in the adolescences years of brokenness just 3 years back,

I was longing for a touch, some comfort and a place where I can rest my soul.

Pride held me away from people I newly know,

my newly adopted spiritual family.

Its hard for me to open up to tell them what had happened to me.

The only person I could speak to was God at that time.

I poured out my heart to Him, 

I told Him please please show me you love me.

Certainly I was helped,

the coming 2 weeks,

amazingly I received more than 10 hugs each day from people I know and people I do not know.

They just wanted to hug me, encourage me.

each time they hugged me as early as 9am in the morning will fill my eyes with tears.

I started to encounter God's love and helped of encouragements in a tangible way.

None of these people who hugged me know what I was going through,

weird enough they hugged and wept with me.

People who hugged me ranges from students waiting for A levels results to granny kind of age. 

I was truly comforted and I know God hears my prayers.

Jesus hugged me with the arms of many many others who has no idea of my cry to God.

I was helped at the very point.

Jesus is still providing such help daily when you ask for Him at your most desperate point.

He helped me, and he will help you too no matter who you are.